Office Blues

It’s 9:30 AM.  I have 7 1/2 hours left of the work day.  I have absolutely nothing to do.

It’s highly possible that by the end of the day all my hair will have been pulled out or I will have jumped out of a window.  I will have read the news from every major U.S. news website.  I will have the statuses of my Facebook friends memorized.  I will have checked Twitter on my Blackberry at least 30 times and will know exactly what every major Twitter celebrity is up to out in Hollywood.  I will have thoroughly annoyed my friends via text, because they actually have lives or jobs that keep them occupied, and I can’t keep myself from texting them every couple of hours to alert, “I’M BORED!”

Why do I stay here, you ask?  Here’s a rundown of the reasons:

1. I adore the people I work for.  They are the most genuine, nice, caring folks and they make me feel like I am an integral part of their company.

2. Finding a new job isn’t easy, to say the least.  I exhausted myself with the job search for almost a year, and I’m not quite ready to fall back into the abyss of endless cover letters and selling my soul to an employer who won’t give me a second glance.

3. I get health benefits, 3 weeks vacation a year, as many sick days as needed, a Christmas bonus and I’ve only worked here since April.  Oh, and I only work 35 hours a week.  Not many companies give entry level employees such luxuries.

4. I enjoy the work that I do, when I have it to do.  It just comes far and few between.

Are all of those reasons worth the tears of boredom that run down my face every day?  I could never work for nicer people, nor have the benefits and flexible schedule that I have now.  But I’m not intellectually pushed enough, nor creatively stimulated.  I need a position that allows my creativity and passion to run rampant.  I need to be challenged; a position that makes me accomplish things that I didn’t know I could do.

I’m pretty stagnant and comfortable here.  I’m scared that might be one of the biggest reasons I’m choosing to stay.

I’m scared to push myself.  I’m not willing to give up the flexibility of this position in order to work somewhere that may be a little more rigid, but will challenge me more in the end.

So until I get the courage to dive back into the job search, I’ll be here.  Or on Facebook, or Twitter, or CNN.  Or splattered on the ground outside the window.  Grrrr.